[Personal Thoughts]

It has been raining for weeks, I hate this weather as it's approaching my final exams. This rainy weather should be lovely usually but not this times. But, I hate myself even more.

Hate that I stress out myself, torture myself in taking five subjects each semester which is full credits hours. I could have choose to distress myself by taking only four subjects. Yet, I still love being tortured. You might think am talking crap, but, you ain't me. You know the story behind me? So, shadup.

While I was stressing out myself studying non stop, that stupid sentences popup in my mind again. That's what my friends told me, they said " why are you studying so hard? Just come out few hours, is that too hard? What would you get if you study hard? Just a degree cert same as mine and we still come out get a job, and not only determined by the certs, but the capability!Since when have you became anti social? What so important you mix with those people in the school? Come out and mix with all the working adults, they are way better than those kids."

Every time when this sentence pop up in my mind, I get emotional. I get affected, I agreed with this, yet, I disagree with this. I would like to tell those whoever said this to your friend, stop saying this ! You want to happy go lucky in your study life, go ahead, but don't influence others, and don't judge people an anti-social when they don't say yes to you.

I study, for myself, you might think I am stupid for studying so hard for just a certificate. But friends, let me tell you, if I would graduate with a first class honors, why would I choose to graduate with only a pass? That's an irresponsible actions to yourself and your parents. They pay for you, for you to get experience in university life, for you to explore yourself. Who say study hard can't hang out? Can't social? But just at the right time, friends. Would you go and have fun when you are actually working? *think twice before you talk* If I would graduate with the chance of getting discount in repaying PTPN loan, why would I choose to enjoy now and suffer in paying the liabilities in the future? *money hard earned, ok?*

I am not that lucky as you all, but, at least, I doing all this for myself. I study, for myself. I learn, for myself. If you would judge my capability only because I study hard but not doing anything else, friends, I will prove you are wrong one day. Cause you don't know what I did. I might not be as capable as you, but, at least, I won't be less capable than you.

I might sounds very lc, but, friends, you own this. Stop insulting me, discriminating me and you would pay for this one day. Sorry in advance. Sarcasm from you, makes me stronger. Thank you.