After hanging up the call with my mum this morning, I broke into tears. Continuing with the topic of yesterday after getting my final results. Yes, I am now officially a graduate, but, also an unemployed, with a second class honors.
But, why, why I broke into tears this morning? Not because I have already graduated, but, getting blame of why not getting a first class, why getting such a bad results. I told my mum, "Only 4 of them in my class got first class". I thought by giving this answer would calm my mum down, however, my mum replied, "why can't you". I hold my breath. I wanna cry. But I can't.
Looking at my friends, everyone was glad that they have already graduated, regardless what result they got. Some passed with flying colors, some 2:1 and most of them 2:2. What I heard the most after the results released was, "Thanks God, I am finally a graduate" Well, no one actually care if they got their first class.
I started to blame, what makes them so happy even with just a 2:2, and why can't I. The main reason which I found out is, I can't cheer my parents up with my results. Yes, I got blamed of not doing good, having too much fun, or wasting my parents money. But, no one actually cares that if I have already done my best.
No one should be blame for my disappointment except myself. I wasn't a first class student in my entire study life, but, I was always an above-average student. With a UPSR 7As, PMR 6As, SPM6As and CGPA of 3.5 in my 1st and 2nd year of university life. But now, I am only getting second class for my degree. Back in school time and my first and second year of university life, what I got most from my lecturers and teachers was, "You'll be a bright one in the future". With this, everyone has a very high expectations on me. When I say everyone, although not everyone as far as I know, but most of my friends and especially my family.
However, their definition of a bright student isn't same as mine. My family thought that I would get a first class, yes, I admit, I promised them, but I also said that I will try my best. And may be, that's why, they expecting me getting a first class. But I didn't expect their reactions for my final results was blaming. I was demotivated for a second, having a lot of thoughts in my mind, thinking that my life would be a mess with this result.
Just so I thought that I was a failure, I remember some advises from my friends.
"Getting a good grades, doesn't mean you can have a good future, it depends on your attitude, personalities and experiences".
Although I only get a second class for my degree, but at least, I have learnt something from it.
1. A second class is not the end of the world.
Getting a bad results do not mean that it is the end of the world. I believe that with my skills and experiences I've learnt from extra curricular activities as well as my volunteering and working experiences, I am not that bad as I thought. At least, I am still better with those who doesn't have any skills but just a certificate.
2. You've unlock one of the milestone in your life.
Yes, I have achieved one more certificates in my life. But, this is not the last one in my milestone. It's just the end of my university life, but beginning of the new life aka the reality. No more campus life, no more pocket money. But, everything on your own. In other word, you are free from assignments but you have a new contract with your working life which could be even longer than the 4 years university life.
3. Get prepare for the next stage of life.
I just gotta prepare myself for my upcoming interview. Hopefully it lead me to the correct path to my dreams. Though people tell me, dreams ain't real when it comes to reality. But, I want to make mine works.
4. Do not look back.
I ain't going to look back. But from now on, I am going to enjoy whatsoever in my next stage. May be masters or become a working adults, or, it may be both. Whatsoever, I ain't going to look back. I am not going to work hard, but to enjoy my future job.
Come to an end of post, I still feel grateful that my parents provide me this experience studying in UK. Although I have disappointed you, but I will repay you in the future, with my love or whatsoever that I could showered you both with my love.
To those who give me advises, you know who you are. Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment